1 year later...

Tomorrow is my daughter's first birthday.

Do you know how odd that sentence looks?

I swear to you it feels like a matter of weeks since I was swaddling her up and just staring at her in awe.

I will take a moment to brag here and say that Philip and I made an amazing little human!

If you actually follow or read my blog, and you hate all of my gushy posts about my incredible angel of a daughter... you may stop reading here.

Lets flashback as I share our story of how, in my opinion, the most amazing little girl entered the world.

(Again, I understand if you are uninterested/bored so leave now.) ((Can't say you weren't double warned)).

Okay so it's February 5th 2009 and I am exactly 40 weeks pregnant. Today is my due date and I am in the hospital ready to be induced. That's right, you heard read me-induced.

I had a long, complicated, agonizing pregnancy and when my doctor mentioned the word "induce" I about jumped off that table and hugged her almost faster than I could close my legs!

haha

Once I hit 37 weeks I couldn't take it anymore. I spent the next 3 weeks eating spicy food, bouncing on a yoga ball, walking my big butt off, doing the deed, drinking raspberry tea, and doing any other method rumored to jump start labor.

NOTHING.

I stayed at 1cm for 1 month and at 40 weeks pregnant NOTHING but one cm.

My OB feared Adeline was getting too large for me to birth vaginally and she wanted to induce labor. FINE BY ME!

So midnight we showed up at the hospital and they took us right away. By 1am I was given my Pitocin and lay anxiously in bed waiting for the short hell that was sure to end my long hellish labor and give me my beautiful prize of a baby!Philip sat on the couch flipping channels as we both waited for me to feel something...it didn't take long for the contractions, which my husband will even admit to say I handled like a soldier! I stayed at 1cm up until 11am when I finally moved to 2cm. I was ready for my Epidurall. I'd had contractions all morning and I couldn't take it anymore. Epidural was miserable. They wouldn't let Philip stay in the room as they administered it. I was incredibly nauseous and on the verge of vomiting while the nurse kept trying to administer so it took for tries until they got it into my spine. That was very painful!! and turned out to not even be worth it. Adeline's heart-rate became alarmingly high so I could only lay on my right side... which is where all of the Epidural traveled to. So during my entire 15 hour labor, I felt everything on my left side. I guess that was better than both sides. Had a room full of family and friends watching me moan and groan in the severest of pain. Threw up. Cried. and then did it all again when my doctor came in and said if I didn't reach 10cm by 4pm she'd do a section. By the grace of God I went from 2cm to 9cm by 4pm, and no section was needed. They said it was time to push and in 20 minutes of feeling everything I gave birth to the most beautiful human being on the face of this planet there on Thursday, February 5, 2009 5:20pm. She was 8 beautiful pounds and 1 sweet ounce. 21 1/2 inches long!

 I'd never been more relieved/numb in my entire life.

I've never seen my husband more proud in our entire lives. 

She was beautiful. She was healthy. She was here.

Philip went home that night to sleep in our bed with Gracie and not on a hospital bed.

I told him it was okay but I was secretly very upset he left me and my brand new baby alone in the hospital to spend her first night alive by ourselves.

I was really so mad, but on that day I was so happy she was finally here I couldn't even be mad.

So he left around 11pm, and around midnight the nurse brought her to me.

and it was in that moment, those  moments that the bliss of what just happened hit me.

She was mine, and she was amazing. I held her and fed her and changed her and even though I hadn't slept in over 48 hours I couldn't even think about putting my head down to sleep because I was too busy watching how peaceful and incredible she was.

I think God knew we needed that night alone.

and it was an amazing first night as a mother.

This was her the very next day, just one day old in the first outfit she ever wore.

Her first car ride at just a day old.

My heart aches that the time has flown so quickly.

I find myself sniffly looking at every photo I've taken over the past year. I can't get the lump in my throat to go away when I do. 

The days won't stop zooming by.

I love her so very much, and I will never forget the very best day of my life.