Monday, December 22, 2014


There was this really rad cookie recipe I had memorized and posted on this blog years ago.
With 4 kids and a million responsibilities I forget everything that was ever even "memorized", so I sat down here to look up the link.

Then I read back to all of the words I threw out on the internet over the years and got embarrassed and walked away. Now I'm back looking at pictures and stories and statistics of all of my babies that I had forgotten I so adequately recorded.

So here I am, half of my kids are napping at present, one working on school work, and the other at my lap gnawing on my thumb as I type.

Oh that one's my newest, Ryder.

He was born August 25th, at a time I'd have to go look up because I don't remember.

He was 9lbs 9oz, my biggest most chunkiest overdue baby!

Birth is incredible.

I've done it 4 different times, 4 different experiences, and there is no one word that comes close to describing it.
 Incredible comes closest.

It's the one day that's simultaneously the worst and best day of your life.
A day filled with excruciating pain only to be quickly soothed by an abundance of love you never knew existed.
Every single emotion packed in a matter of hours.
Vulnerability masked with the epitome of strength.
Complete joy accompanied with continual tears.
Exhaustion beyond what a human is capable of experiencing, but as if one miracle was not enough, we get through that too.

I thought about writing about Ryder's birth, but now, almost 4 months later I still don't have the composition or the controlled emotions from that day.
But he is


2014 hurt.

It was hard.
But we overcame, and I have a whole new, precious life to love, and for that reason, 2014 wasn't all that terrible.

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