I feel like my entire foundation of who I am, was, and could be has just buckled underneath my feet. I have a hard time accepting things that aren't within my control, and this is hard on me. I love both of my parents very much, and I hate to see either upset. It's sad that I am more concerned about myself though and how I'd rather see their situation for my sake and my daughter's sake.
It makes me even worried about Philip and I. His parents aren't together because they lost his father. Mine may not be together for other reasons, but still... the odds of ending up together in the long run don't look great.
The whole topic haunted my dreams last night. I threw fits I never dreamed I could. In my dream of course. I guess theres nothing I can do either way, I just wish my mom were happier, and my dad too now for that matter.
Hurricane Ike is on its way to Texas right now. We are getting a lot of wind and rain from the feeder bands, but I don't mind because for the most part, I like the weather. I was sitting at the back door just watching the weather in the back yard, and it made me think of the many days I spent doing just that while we were in the process of building this house. Even when we just had our concrete I'd just sit on the back porch and watch the weather. I secretly liked days when it rained while we were building because it cooled the summer heat off just that much more. Philip used to hate it though, he couldn't get much work done in the rain.
I killed a black widow spider in the garage this morning. I'm lucky that for once I used some common sense and checked for it. I weas going to get a lawn chair to watch the weather on the back porch, and I thought "Let me check this for bugs." Sure enough a huge web and a whopping black spider with a red hour glass was just chilling waiting to kill me!
Of course my instinct was to run away inside, which I did.
After calling Philip to alert him of my discovery though he made me go back and kill it, which I did all by myself--and some spider killer spray.
I've been stopping at my parent's house the last couple of days so Philip could help clean up some of their Gustav damage. My grandma is almost unrecognizable, and at first she couldn't even tell you who I was. She sure did know Philip though. She always did think he was so handsome.
The baby's been kicking a lot. The ultrasound tech thinks she's a girl, but isn't all the way sure because the umbilical chord was in between her legs Monday when we were trying to see. I'm happy that its [probably] a girl, I just hope it stays that way and we don't see a little boy part down the road on another ultrasound, or even worse when the baby is born. I'm one of those cheesy mommies and I'll have everything girly and decked out for Adeline by the time she gets here.