Friday, April 30, 2010

Flashback Friday

These are my parents:
They were together for I think 26 years, and married for 22.  I always grew up thinking divorce was so distant. It seemed to happen to everyone else's parents, but not mine. Mine loved each other a lot, danced and goofed off in the living room, and cuddled in bed on lazy weekend days.

When I was pregnant with my daughter, my parents split up and got divorced within a 4 month period.

I was so broken and let down and feeling so helpless.

I've gotten over a lot of the pain and ache that you would think a grown woman with her own family wouldn't feel when her own Mommy and Daddy divorce, but I really like to remember the happy times they shared-we shared.

 It's the strangest thing to me to see or even hear about my parents with other people. Boyfriends, girlfriends.. it all seems so wrong and... well  strange.
He belongs with her, and she belongs with him, and if it's hard... well pray about it, and work on it.
That's what I always kind of secretly think, but I know they both deserve to be happy and if they aren't happy with each other, then I guess that's why they are where they are.

Mom and Dad have been divorced for almost a year and a half, and I'm ashamed to admit that sometimes I still imagine them being back together. I'll even admit that I've encouraged it to one parent or another.

Divorce is something I've never even thought would be a part of my life, in any way.
After seeing the pain it caused so many people to see my parents give up I've vowed to fight for our relationship now, 10 years, 30 years, and 50 years to come. Divorce is so scary to me now, and to be honest, I fear it. If it could  happen to them then couldn't it sneak up on us?  Don't get me wrong my husband and I have an epic relationship.Lots of love, and time, and now God has helped us more than I could even explain.

 I love my mom and dad very much, but times have changed.
I have my own family now, and I continue to concentrate and build and make mine stronger and able to endure.

I just really like that picture, and all of the other sweet and funny memories I have of my parents stored in my head.

That's my flashback, ya'll.
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  1. That is a really adorable picture of them. And divorce is SO hard no matter what age it effects you. My parents have been divorced since I was 2, and my Mom re-married twice after that. It's exhausting to worry about their relationships...and you are right, focusing on your own family is the healthiest thing you can do:)

  2. great picture to capture the good times. divorce is a scary, tragic thing. :( sorry you've had to deal with it. must be hard at any age.

  3. You're so lucky though, because you were able to grow during their good times, and have sweet memories and pictures to capture them. Divorce is definatly scarry and hard, but look at the bright side, you were able to learn from it and have made a stronger commitment to fight for your own marriage because of it.

    You're a strong woman!

  4. one thing i can say... as sad as it is for your parents to have divorced... i hope they both will keep the lines open to knowing your daughter! my dad's parents split when my dad was in his early 20's. me and all of my cousins never had a chance to get to know my grandpa very well. he was unfaithful and kind of took a step back from everyone (this was right around the time all of us kids were being born/toddlers). last week, i saw him at my great grandma's funeral holding his girlfriend's granddaughter in his lap (she's like 3)... and it really made me sad that he is closer to that little girl than he ever was with his own flesh and blood. i hope that your family will stay close through it all!!

  5. My parents just divorced a couple years ago as well. It's weird, but I think they'll both be happier.

  6. I hate to admit that when I was a kid, I actually WISHED my parents would get divorced. Then the fighting would be over, and maybe I'd have a new life. I was always wondering who I would live with, and what my life would end up like. Even when I moved out, my parents were still constantly fighting, and even to this day, I wonder how they're together. They live across the country from me though, so I really don't know what their relationship is like anymore.

    I'm glad they didn't get divorced. What a horrible thing for me to have wished about.

    My husbands parents got divorced when he was a baby. And then a year ago, THEY GOT BACK TOGETHER. He was shocked. And then... they split up again. Its been a rollercoaster for him.

    And again, I'm grateful that my parents are still together, even though I wished as a child that they'd leave each other.

    Its exhausting, I'm sure.