Rant

I rarely have "one of those days".
Normally I don't ever let one little thing (or a series of little things) damper my day.

Today I did.

I woke up to a dirty house because I hadn't even thought of cleaning the day before while Philip was in from work for just a day.

Laundry, dishes, dirty floors, scattered toys--it was all staring me in the face.
Oh that plus a baby that was up WAYYY too early.

So I decide to go shopping instead of face the housework.

The queen of temper-tatrums (Adeline) outdid herself in the Target parking lot because I had to take her turtle from her to get her arms out of the carseat straps.
BIG fit for that one.

I was too early for Old Navy. They're lazy and weren't open for me at 8:30am.

So I took my moody toddler elsewhere and came back at 9:00.
Nope not open yet.
Seriously Old Navy?

Maybe I'd have even gotten the point if the hours were posted on the door, but no. You wanted to get my day started on the wrong foot.
Alright.

So I ride around town looking for something to do that doesn't involve spending money.

No one to hang out with, nothing to do so I go back to my original plan-- shop.
Spend  money.
Feel guilty.

Try Old Navy again because I really need some new pants with pockets.

Shoot, it's only 9:30... screw it I'm going home.

Made the mistake of letting my kid power nap for about 5 minutes on the way home so she REFUSES to nap ALL morning and afternoon.

Don't feel like cleaning with a cranky baby in my legs so I head BACK to Old Navy.
Get the pants, and some shorts.

Come home. Rip the tags off to throw in the laundry when it dawns on me, "Hey try those shorts on see how they look."
They barely make it over my butt.
That can't be right, they're my size.
I only have one size and it doesn't ever go anywhere these have to be marked wrong.
Oh no they are my size.

That means my butt's bigger and it was already big.

Immediate self pity and disgust.

Alright, feed Adeline lunch, which today really meant that she fed Gracie her lunch.
Put her to bed to nap and get started on opening the mail to pay some bills.

Then I hear a loud thud followed by a scream.
I knew what that was.

I ran to her bedroom only to find her crying on the floor.
She managed to climb out of her crib.
What????
She's 14 months old and she climbed out of her crib.
How the heck did she do that?!!!!

Great.

Check for broken limbs, bruises, bleeding. Nothing.
Thank God she's alright.
Do some rocking, soothing, and she's ready to play.

Alright.

So we play and she throws a fit because her cup is stuck in her stroller, and I just go put her back down for a nap.
Doesn't wanna take a nap.

Too bad.
Mommy needs you to nap.
YOU need to nap.

So I leave a small crack in the door, watch her try to escape from her crib again, give up, and fall asleep.

Dishes, let me start the dishes while she's sleeping.
I only have a short time.
Run some hot water, oh wait let me turn the tv down so I can hear if she wakes up again.

Alright back to the dishes.
AND DON'T YOU KNOW I HEAR HER NOW.

Alright, so you wanna play?
You're taking a nap!
So I sat there at the door way and watched her until she was asleep and continued to watch her sleep, 'cause she's sneaky and can jump out at any time.
(My daughter won't allow me to rock her and hasn't since she was 4 months old)

Alright, I've got to do the dishes.
Let me watch Ellen while I do so.

Almost done with the dishes when Mr. Shouster from Glee is introduced.
OH my I love Glee, let me dry my hands and stop the dishes so I can see this interview.

BARACK OBAMA INTERRUPTS WITH A STUPID MESSAGE LASTING ONLY LONG ENOUGH FOR ME TO MISS THIS INTERVIEW ON ELLEN. Thanks Pres. Thanks.

Dishes.

Nope.

She's up.
and she's mad.

Alright, bounce, snack, drink milk, play outside. Ride around in her car until I'm tired of making the same circles, and I take her out to help me water the plants.
Get the daises and then I head to the orange trees.
I look back expecting her to be behind me and SHE HAS FOUND A BEER BOTTLE AND IS TRYING TO DRINK FROM IT.

My husband doesn't drink. He doesn't buy beer. Where the heck did a beer bottle come from and why is it my yard for my toddler to wrap her precious lips around and either get a drop of two of the disgusting probably expired crap or bugs or whatever else was inside the bottle that had been there for who knows how long?

Oh did I mention when I watered the front flower bed a large bumble be chased me.
Uh huh.
He seriously had it out for me.

Oh don't forget the lovely phone call where I was sweetly insulted by someone already rubbing me wrong. 

Dinner time.
Not cooking.
Warming up left over pizza.
Of course she's refusing to eat it.
She aint' getting out of that chair until she at least takes a bite.

She doesn't plan on doing that any time soon, so I decide to make myself useful and clean out the fishbowl.
I pick it up and it SHATTERS in my hands leaving water, glass, rocks, and two floppy gold fish all over my kitchen counter and floors. Did I mention I'm soaking wet with fish poo water and I have cuts on my hands and feet form shattered glass?

The fish got flushed, if you were wondering.

Uncle J comes to make sure the mattress on the crib is at the lowest.
Adeline throws a vicious fit because tonight is wash her hair night.

AND then she falls FACE FIRST off of the couch with me sitting right next to her.
BIG bump on the head, and my heart hurts for her because she's taken two totally crazy falls today and I can't take anymore.

I couldn't even go to the gym tonight to let out the frustrations of a bunch of small nothings adding up to making my day a whole bunch of rotten.

I took a bath, painted my toenails, and watched Glee in my robe though, so I'm feeling a bit better.

I do have a lot of housework to do in the am though.
Wish me luck.
and no baby falls or injuries.