Not Always Buttercups

This is my first blog post from my new computer!
It's exciting.
I can probably write this whole thing without the computer freezing, and the pictures are loading up just fine.

Things have been kind of off around here lately.
Pregnancy does funky things to my mind (and body and house among other things).
The normal non-pregnant Courtney is ordered, routined, and organized; but right now I feel like everything is everywhere and all jumbled up. When I do have the energy to sort through it or get on top of it, it's undone just as quickly as it was created. It drives me crazy(ier).

 Philip has been working every day for a long time. I was really sad when he even had to work all day Sunday last week. Most times since I'm here with the kids I'm doing the primary parenting. When Philip comes home late in the evening from work I kind of just want him to take over. I sit on the couch for the first time in the day and just expect him to change a diaper or wish he'd bathe the kids. He kind of just wants to relax and wind down from a long day. I guess that's normal on both sides, but maybe when he isn't working such crazy hours it'll feel like a little relief for both of us.I miss his energy around us! I miss his help! I miss him!!

Adeline and Gideon have been such a challenge lately. You know, I always knew I was born to be a mother. Like, playing house as a kid was totally my future in my 5-10 year old brain. I went to college and took some child psychology classes, and I remember literally thinking "I've so got this." God sure humbled me with Adeline, because sometimes I feel so overwhelmed in battle with her strong will.

 Gideon is walking now, and he's trying to climb on everything, which is leading towards more falls resulting in bumps and bruises. I'm sorry but my kids are way to good-looking for bumps and bruises.

 Haha. He's also starting to throw fits when he doesn't get what he wants. He's 14 months now, and this is much later than Adeline started throwing fits (10mo). Poor Gideon just gets laughed at when he's on the floor throwing a tantrum. I'm all like Haha, that's all you got? Your sisters tantrums totally trump whatever it is you're doing down there. None the less sometimes between the two of them and still feeling nauseous throughout the day I feel so overwhelmed and helpless sometimes.

My groove will come right back the minute this precious baby evacuates my body in August. Right after I had Gideon I was cooking and cleaning and happily working full force as the wife and mother I love to be. I guess I'm just looking forward to that time already. It feels like such a long time away. This is my first time being big and pregnant in the summer, and with a hot spring already I'm unsure of exactly how I'm going to survive the upcoming months. We should find out the baby's gender tomorrow! I'm so excited to know I can hardly wait. Sometimes I fantasize about owning a sonogram machine, I'm that impatient. Adeline really wants a baby sister.

 A couple of days ago she got very upset with me when I tried to explain to her that the baby could be a boy and we will love him the same if it is. "No mommy, the baby is a girl, she will be my sister. You can have a boy baby after you have the girl baby." Um are you kidding me kid?

I'd love a big family, I'd love more kids, but I'd love to be able to thrive at my role right now, and while I'm growing babies inside of my tired belly my thriving is sluggish. I'm looking forward to having our three and nurturing them.